I was sitting in church the other day, listening to a visiting singer when the Lord gave me a vision. I saw myself in the woods, my favorite place. I was inside 4 thick walls made of plate glass, completely surrounded but made on a grassy floor. I was smiling and talking to a woman on the other side of the glass, who was also smiling and talking. She had obviously made her way to me through the woods and was excited she had found me. After a long while the smiles and conversation faded and she walked away, looking disappointed and defeated. I felt relieved and turned away exhausted. But also saddened that I was alone again. Several things were important about this vision.
1. I had previously had a vision of myself inside brick walls. Tall, thick, high, complex walls. Built to protect myself and keep others out. More of a self made dungeon. Brick on the sides, cement on the bottom, open air top. These new plate glass walls were not as tall or thick as the brick ones and I was not as hidden by them. But still walled in on all sides. The brick walls were pointed and jagged, the plate glass rounded and smooth. Less "dangerous" but still isolating.
2. These walls gave a false sense of intimacy. Although the person on the other side could see me and vice versa, we weren't really reaching each other. No touch, no embrace, no warmth. And it was difficult to hear what each one was saying.
3. These walls gave a false sense of security. Yes, this was bullet proof plate glass. But there was no ceiling and no floor. Anyone or anything could tunnel under or repel into the walls uninvited. And there was no entrance or exit door. No way to sustain my body physically or spiritually.
What God was trying to say to me was this. There can be no walls. No walls between Him and I, no walls between those sent to be my intimate circle. There must be full trust and surrender that He will lead and protect me. That He will guide me through hurt and pain and offer me joy, healing, and peace. That He will supply all my needs and provide things and people I didn't even know I needed.
Isaiah 49:16 KJV says: "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."
The Lord loves us. Wants us. Desires us. Is constantly thinking of us. Wanting to destroy the walls put between us and Him. My prayer is this and may yours be as well:
Lord Jesus, I repent for all the walls I have put between you and me both consciously and unconsciously. Whether the walls be made of sin, fear, pride, ego, lies, death, bitterness, or otherwise I tear them all down right now. May there be true intimacy between You and I, Lord, and between me and my circle as well. May the things sent to destroy me and my family be declared null and void. May there be new paths in the wilderness of my life to replace the well worn paths of wall building. I pray this in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
